“He’s completely silent. I have been talking to Him, but I am hearing nothing.”
She stood with her back to him, staring. Out the window a winter blast of white began deluging the back yard. The weatherman called for 10-12 inches. As she listened to him talk, her thoughts turned to a sunny child with deep chocolate-chip brown eyes…in her minds’ eye he was running across the broad green as fast as he could. His long blond ringlets heavily bounced on his head wildly, as he erupted with a churlish giggle and fell to the thick mat of grass.
“I don’t know what to do, it seems like God is mad at me….I know I have made a mistake, but I just can’t find any peace…even though I have prayed about it.”
Her ears heard him, but it was her soul that reacted. She was sad for him, disappointed at his choice. Surprised at his lapse of judgment…but still, to her he would always be the apple of her eye. She knew his heart. But she also knew there would be consequences for him. For every action, there is a reaction…and in this case, it could be costly.
“I really can’t believe I let my guard down…I never mess up like this…this is not like me… Can you forgive me and be able to trust me again?”
She continued to stare out the window, thinking about the affect his choices might have on him….
“You know it really isn’t like me to make such a stupid decision…I let my guard down. I let the moment lead me instead of my sense of right and wrong.”
“I know honey,” She sighed.
“I don’t mean to turn this into a Bible lesson, but the truth is that you are not unlike any other human being who has ever walked this earth. You made an error. You know better. I guess this is what is meant by the scripture about Satan being a prowling lion looking for someone to devour. Looks like you were his lunch that day.”
He looked away and pulled up the covers of his quilt. He was feeling a chill.
She continued to watch the snow. “You said you can’t ‘hear’ God. Why do you suppose that is? Our Lord is not a petulant God. His silence isn’t meant as a payback. It may mean that He is using it to get your attention. Silence can speak volumes to us.”
“Consider this,” she said. “Do you find yourself muscling through temptations and choices by the strength of your own mind and flesh? Or do you regularly take stock of your decisions and filter them through what you know is God’s will?”
“I am not sure,” he answered.
“Only you know the answer to that, and I don’t need your answer. But I do advise you to consider it. The other part of that scripture I referred to is about putting on the full armour of God. You know and I know that without that, we will lose life’s battles. I get sloppy and forget about it too.”
She finished softly, “I guess Jesus wasn’t kidding when He said apart for Him you can do nothing…”
The snow was getting heavier, it seemed to be making everything clean and pure. Even the red brown mud in the backyard was covered now. His next question broke her heart….
“Do you still love me?”
She turned around to face him.
“Of course I do, she answered. I will love you always…to the moon and back,” she said with a wink.
“We will face this together… I have forgiven you. You have owned it. Now just learn from the mistake and move on…and tell that ‘lion’ to hit the bricks, he is NOT welcome here. Now you just need to ask God to forgive you…but I caution you – a Holy God and a good parent will allow the trouble to come. Otherwise, we would never learn or be changed by it. But, we won’t be alone; He promises He will walk through it with us.”
She turned back to the window and sighed. She ached for him, she loved him so. She knew he was still troubled. Then like a gentle whisper in her heart she remembered a passage of scripture:
“Come. Let us talk some more about this matter,” says the Lord. Even though your sins are bright red, they will be as white as snow. Even though they are deep red, they will be white like wool.” Isaiah 1:18
As the snowy whirlwind increased with fury outside the window, she smiled, knowing that God was right there with them both…and that His silence was broken.