Do You Trust Me?

faith fall

Meanderings: I slept a restless night.  It has been 24 hours since I have heard from the younglings.  Indeed, I took them to the airport a few days ago to go on a summer mission trip.  This is the first for Thing 2.  I have already gone through the worry and angst when Thing 1 went on his first mission last year.  I have been there.  I have done that.  But still, momma bear worries.   We agreed to keep in touch through a free international texting app, but – it only works if there is wifi and where they are – that is sketchy at best.  So I tossed and turned.  I stared at the ceiling.  I waited for the phone to beep with an incoming text…and it didn’t come.

So this morning, very early and bleary-eyed I woke up too soon and grabbed my phone.  No texts.  Sigh.  So I hit my bible app to see today’s scripture.  Here is what came up.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Ouch! There is no question that verse was sent to me today.

Crooked paths: I have struggled all my life with control issues.  I have actually been evaluated several times by previous employers for personality profile.  I am a Type A.  Go figure. So you would think that when I gave up my will to God’s will and began to follow His Son Jesus; that would have changed.  After all, there can only be one General on the field, and that is the Lord Jesus Christ.  So what’s up with my worry?  Do I not trust Him?

So the conversation with my Lord this morning went something like this:

Me: “Ok, I know I am to trust in you, and I do and have, but Father, they are my only children and I know that I gave them to you a long time ago and really, I do trust you – er, sometimes.  But they are so far away.”

God:  “I have told you that I will keep you in perfect peace, if your mind is steadfast on me…” (Isaiah 26:3).

Me: “I know that – but it is just they are so precious and so dear to me….and are you sure they are ok? Do you really understand my worry? If only I could hear from them and….”

God: “Really? Do you not know that I understand the love of a parent?  The love of a FATHER?  You are my adopted child….and yet I gave up my ONE and ONLY child for you…and all mankind.  I loved this world so much that I gave my sinless son, Jesus as payment for sin…In this way whoever believes in Him will not be separated from me for their sin – forever!” (John 3:16).  I’ve got this.  I am keeping them from harm, I am watching over their lives..  (Psalm 121:7)

Me: Sheepishly I respond. “I know…but…I can’t help it…I worry.”

God: “I did not give you a spirit of fear…but a spirit of love, of power and self-discipline. (2 Timothy 1:7).  Daughter – your children are mine.  Yes, I gave them to you for a time. But do not forget – they are in this world for a purpose.  I have woven just the right combination of personality, attributes, and heart in each of them. They are at Kingdom work.  They are working for love, for peace…for my message to others.  There is someone in that far away country right now that is hurting – that is lost…and they need to hear and see me through these young men I have created.  That is why they are there.”

Me: “Yes, Father.  You are right.  I am sorry. I am putting me first.  I get it – Not only are they my earthly children, they are my heavenly brothers in Christ.  They – we, all have a job to do.  Will you forgive me?”

God: “I already have.” (1 John 1:9)

Me: “Thank you for reminding me  – that your thoughts are not my thoughts, neither are your ways my ways. “(Isaiah 55:8).

God:Sunny Smile 🙂

Straight paths:  After this prayerful conversation with the Father this morning I finally chilled out and let it go…and then…beep.  There it was.  The text.  “Hi mom, we are all good.  Love you.  Will try to connect later.”

Less bleary-eyed and more buoyant, I sent up a heavenly thank you prayer and headed to the kitchen for the daily java…and whilst sipping away in the predawn gray, God gave me another scripture in my head to ponder…

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:7

Me: Agreed.

 

 

 

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